Good Haircut, Part Two

For the second time in 4 years, my hair has fallen out. The first time, I was astonished at the process, mourned my loss, and over the months of baldness, developed a fondness for tiedyed bandanas, handknit and newsboy style caps. I had a wig that I detested, it was a style cut that was too old for me, and the color was a washed out blonde...but it was only $18 and hey, I wasn't going to need it long. I sold it 2 years ago, gratefully saying goodbye to a time in my life that I was glad to be past. Now I am here again, no longer astonished, but still mournful, unsure if I will ever have real hair on my head again. I remember well meaning cancer survivors coming up to me in my bandana days, offering me hope and encouragement, a promise of healthy future when those days passed. I am not in that healthy future, yet, and my vanishing hair is evidence of that. So I have a better wig now, one that matches the hair color of my youth, with highlights. And without the pesky waves. I will wear it all the time, because I don't want the brave cancer survivors thinking I am a newbie, and finding out the scary truth. I will keep my happy face, because I want to, I need to, I have to. When you see me, see the fight, not the wig. It still is my hair, paid dearly for, after all.