Doing it better

The bible is full of tough, hard verses that many times rub us the wrong way, or disagree with our vision of God. There are verses about God wounding, then binding our wounds, about us cutting off our arms or legs in order to make sure we can enter heaven, about being purified like gold in the fire. It all seems quite brutal, and not how we imagine our walk with God should be. Where is the grace and the love and the mercy? I have to admit that I did not think those verses applied to me. Why, I was a good Jesus follower, I paid my tithe, went to church all the time, read the bible through every year, did mission work. Then things started changing in my life, big things started going very wrong. I hit walls that prayer did not tear down. In this, I find myself, more and more, facing the self righteous person I am. Doing things I thought I would never do, needing people to help me, I have been wounded. The wounding has exposed biases and prejudices, fears and anxieties. But, after the wounding is the binding of wounds, the balm of God's grace that whispers: "You can do it better, you can grow and change." I feel the weight of self importance lift, and the pride fly away, and the road to doing it better paved with gold.