Gratitude

My friend Deb gave me a book about gratitude several years ago. I read it and thought I had it figured out. Having a grateful attitude makes one feel better, live a richer life, be happier, have more friends, etc. It is easy to talk about and, in a superficial sense, it is easy to do. I am grateful for my family, my faith, my friends, my job, my bank account. I am grateful that I live in the USA, that there is an open Kroger Store 5 minutes from my front door, that I have health insurance. See how easy that was? It becomes harder when the gratitude grinds against life's hard edges. I am grateful that the doctor found my husband's cancer while it was still small, I am grateful that I only had to cut my hours at work by one day instead of five so I could keep my job and get chemo every other week, I am grateful that my 10 year old car starts every morning. The words and thoughts form and can become dry in the mouth before being spoken, and instead of gratitude, bitterness can take it's place. Gratitude wins the day when it is nurtured and offered to God, lifting the hard edges to the light and seeing the sun gleam and sparkle off them. Turning it this way and that, gratitude takes what is hard and turns it to hope.