Only God

I was waiting all day for a call from my almost ex-doctor. Somehow I thought he might call, wonder how I was doing, talk about my elevated cancer antigen number, recommend some kind of new plan of treatment. I would be all calm and confident; yes, I know about the elevated number, no I don't want to do any more chemo, maybe I will schedule an appointment in January. But he didn't call, so all my bravado turned to sorrow and desolation. For a few minutes. Then I looked at the beautiful sunset on my drive home and remembered God's word that He would never leave us or forsake us. Our names are engraved on the palms of His Hands. He knows us intimately and cares for us constantly. He is with us in every moment of every day. He calls us and calls us. I would have answered my doctor's call in a breathless second, but God's calls I sometimes miss. Or, sadly, ignore. He never leaves messages. He just keeps calling. Hello, God, this is Amy. I am scared, and sad, and somehow feeling less than wonderful today. You love me? Ahhh, that sounds so good to hear. Don't be afraid? Well, ok I will try to do that. Trust in You alone? Yes, I know, I need to do that too. I will do that right now. I love You, too.