Doing what is in front of you to do

The time has come for palliative radiation and hospice and finishing things. None of these things are what I would choose to do on a mild spring day if I had my choice. But this is what is in front of me to do. I can still plant flowers and watch the hummingbirds fight over the feeder. I can still spin some wool and play with Collette. I can buzz like a bee to make Anderson smile. I can still do the fun things, but the hard things are there to do, as well. Standing solemn and silent as soldiers, in the shadows now stepping out to take my hands. These hands that know how to knit and cuddle, write words and sew pillows will stretch out and hold the sides of a radiation table and sign my name to a living will. These hands will share those things that I cannot keep with those that I know will keep them well. With steady gaze, I see the work I must do. Once the first step is taken, the path becomes easier, the camaraderie of those walking with you feels safe. Without looking back, you can move into the business of what is in front of you, putting your hands to it with surety, remembering that the One that leads you is able to sustain you, until you have finished doing what is in front of you to do, and can lie down to rest.