Joie de Vivre

Joy of living. My daughter Mary lives a life that illustrates this joie. She has an impulsive nature, generous, outgoing, always ready for fun. She is equally comfortable with the elderly and infants and all ages in between. Children love her. She giggles and plays with them as if she, too, were one of them. With children and adults, she can bring calm out of debate and make sense out of difficult emotional dramas. I admire her and love her. Sometimes her impulsive nature has caused conflict between us. I have stood, sometimes openly, sometimes privately, in judgment of her choices regarding money, travel, friends, social situations. As she has matured and bloomed, I think this judgment masks some envy. Her life is still young and full of wonderful promises. She laughs and plays, not worrying so much about tomorrow and rainy days. Her investments might not be in banks and stocks, but it is in people and places and memories and joie. Isn't this the life we were meant to live?

Thanksgiving

Celebrating Thanksgiving in my family has had many metamorphoses over the years.  My father's sister's house was where we gathered as children, a formal affair with dresses, coats and ties, speeches, toasts and treasure hunts. As time passed, and cousins grew up and married and moved, the celebration transferred to other venues. There are now many to choose from, depending on which coast you prefer and who is going to be where. This year we chose to visit my brother in Delaware, so the event was a whirlwind 1200 mile trek across 2 states through endless rain and truck spray. We ate delicious food, watched movies, caught up on the years events, stayed up late. My parents actually shared the main meal together for the first time in maybe 30 years, as my Dad traveled with us and my mother lives near my brother. I wonder what is the spell of the Thanksgiving meal, that draws families together across the country. There is no keeping it quiet, no matter how much the airlines charge for the Sunday home travel or how hard it rains. We seek each other out, to lean on each other and make sure we are still loved.

24 roses

Today is my birthday. Yes, I remember what I was doing when John Kennedy was shot. I was in school, looking forward to my birthday party the next day. I don't remember being sad right away, because I didn't really understand how awful and scary it was, until later, when we saw the amateur footage of the shooting on the tv. This was long before instant news and blogs and twitter, and cameras with phones and youtube. The footage was grainy and black and white, but mysterious and dreadful. My birthday party was wonderful, as I recall. More poignant because of the grief of our nation's loss in the background. This birthday is like that one. My sister sent me 24 roses, and a vase to put them in. Her card noted that reaching this birthday was especially miraculous and precious. Yes, indeed. Each step into the future is measured in miles already run, looking into the distance to the next mile marker. The measured and treasured stride, gently adding one to another, toward the destination that ends in our life's greatest joy.

Android

I upgraded my phone today, from a 2 year old Blackberry to a Motorola Moto. It has a touchscreen, and a nice camera. I really do like having internet on my phone. It is infinitely fascinating and entertaining. My old phone did not do any of the apps well that I like. The only downside is the cost. Our phone bill today is a little more than half of what our first house payment was way back in 1978. I am lying if I say it is worth it, but the play value is wonderful. Unfortunately, the guy at the store had to "wipe" my old phone, because Richard is going to use it. Goodbye 2 years of notes and calendar entries, mini directions to friends houses and all the other random entries I made to help me remember things. Now the Blackberry is back to the way is was when I first bought it. Scrubbed and ready for a new adventure.  My new phone is also a sort of blank slate, the calendar is empty, there are no photos or memos. It is like a fresh new day, full of potential. As an act of faith, I signed a 2 year agreement for this phone, and I plan to enjoy every minute of it.

Finishing Things part 2

Yesterday I finished my 4th cycle of this current treatment series, and, according to my doctor, I can be finished with it. I am cautious about this because I thought I was finished before, but that was 2 treatment series ago. I guess that is typical of most things in life. I remember when I finished college I thought I would never take another test. I have probably taken hundreds of tests since then, as I wended my way through nursing school, and then certification tests, and a return to college to study spanish. Then, with my children grown and gone I thought I was finished working in children's ministry, but now I am busy every other Sunday with 4Corners Kids. When I was told I had cancer, I thought my life was finished and looked at how unprepared I was to face that end. Three and a half years later, I am still working and playing and living a life that, though different in some ways, still looks remarkably like the one I lived before that difficult day. Finishing things seems to be a way to end a chapter, but not the whole book. What challenges us, calms us, encourages or restores us, we begin again.

The work God gives us to do

My husband has a new job that is quite different from his previous job. The biggest difference is the amount of extra hours he has to work, long into the evening and weekends sometimes, without compensation. Now he is grateful to be working, as most of this year he was living under the cloud of pending, then actual, unemployment. But the job that we consider a gift of God has come with a cost greater than what was expected at the beginning. The temptation is to look for something else, but if we have learned nothing else in the past 3 years we have learned to bear it. The work that God gives us to do, which can be physical labor, prayer, encouraging others, maintaining family relationships, even chemotherapy, serves more than a single purpose. While we are about the work, He is about using the work to shape and form us, grow us, discipline and teach us. We find ourselves at a loss, often, of energy, ideas, courage, kindness, patience. He is there to show those things to us. The work that God gives us to do is service ultimately to Him, for Him. We do the work He gives us to do, and we do it to the best of our ability, because it is His gift to us, and ours to Him.

Myra's Dionysus

Tonight I had supper with my dear friend Elizabeth at Myra's.  I have mentioned Elizabeth before in this blog, because spending time with her is definitely ice cream, no matter where we have supper. She is full of energy and bubbles over with her passion for people. She works for the Restavek Foundation, which is an organization that focuses on the problem of children in domestic slavery in Haiti. Several weeks ago, she was working on an exhibit for a weekend event that featured simulations of a day in the life of a restavek. I made her 500 or so buttons to give away to the people who participated in the experience. It was great to hear about the positive response to her hard work, and to know that over 800 people now know something about the plight of thousands of children forced to live in terrible situations. I am glad to know people who choose to do something valuable to assist others in this messy world. Elizabeth, my daughters and many of their friends have stepped into roles that inspire and encourage others, mentoring adults and children to look with new eyes at the world around them. It is wonderful to join with them, this next generation, those who are not afraid to reach out to those who need them.