Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Unpacking Faith
Finding a faith in God can be a difficult and circuitous journey. I was raised in a formal church, where the place felt cold and I was judged by how well I dressed and how many friends I had. That certainly did not interest me, so by age 13 I no longer wanted to, nor was made to, attend. I had friends through the years after that had a bent toward God that I did not understand, and it wasn't until 14 years later that I finally began to make sense out of what I had gleaned from the bible lessons of my childhood. It was such a wonderful transformation that I raised both my daughters in a very focused and diligent dedication to those same bible teachings, determining that their journey to faith in God would be easier than mine. My oldest daughter followed that path without ever wavering, but my second daughter seemed to find our choices for her did not fit her choices for herself. She has chosen the same circuitous road I chose so long ago, maintaining about the same pace and maybe for the same reasons. Her childhood faith has been packed away with other childhood experiences, tucked in the basement of her soul. One day that box will be opened, and the faith that was put there will come out, and God will be found.
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The older I get the more I am convinced that it doesn't matter which church you go to, as long as it feels like home and as long as you show up. I also think your parents can do all the right things, and you are going to have your own personal journey with God. after a certain point, we are all responsible for ourselves...My sisters and I have each all gone different directions in that area too, and we all three had the same experiences growing up. my parents finally accepted it and when brady was born, I offered to have him baptised (to keep peace and all bc that's my personality) and my mom said, you have to do what you and mike believe. I was shocked! we had a baby cermony at church and never heard another word about it. Now at Christmas eve dinner, my dad did say we should come to mass with them instead of just meeting them after for dinner...my husband (hater of the catholic mass for its "boringness") said okay! I almost fell out of my chair... so maybe they think we'll slide back in if you know what i mean....We'll see.
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